Wednesday, September 15, 2010

"A cross in the road..." revisited

For the SITS Girls day three of the Back to Blogging event our task is to "Re-upload a post with a title that you are particularly proud of and explain why."

I chose my post from April 19th titled "A cross in the road..."  Selecting a title name is actually something I REALLY struggle with, I usually end up going with something generic.  I am also learning through this event that my favorite posts of mine and others are ones where you and I speak from the heart and express yours and my true feelings of the day or a situation.

This particular post got me 13 comments (in the upper range of comments for my bliggity blog) and they were all really kind and supportive.  I will say I have learned A LOT about myself and my friends since this post and I think I hurt some peoples feelings through writing it, but putting my self conscious thoughts to keyboard and into the inter-webs let me get a huge stressor off my chest.  I don't think its abnormal to find yourself on differing "streets" than that of anyone you are in relationships with.  Times change, life happens, and if its meant to be its meant to be.  I have also learned to be a better friend since writing this.

This title had a lot of meaning to the post and was a line in it, so I thought it was pretty witty of me!  I hope you enjoy it again.

Welcome to "Real talk with Shelby"...haha!!

So picture this...I am 22 living at home and partying it up with girls that I've been friends with since I was in middle school and guys that I've known since high school.  I re-meet this hot, fresh-out-of-the-Marines, guy and fall madly in love!  Fast forward 3 and a half years and I am married, mom of a 1 and a half year old and soon to be newborn, and living 40 minutes away from all that I've ever really known.  These girls I was partying with (some of my closest friends) are all either single or no where near being settled and for the most part living at home still.  The partying has settled a bit, but not for the reasons mine have drastically changed.
So basically this leads me to reflect on some current observations I've seems more and more often lately my titles as Mrs. and mommy have separated me from the pack.  I seem to be getting less and less phone calls from these girls.  I know the street goes both ways, but my days really do escape me.  I remember to call people in the morning (when everyone is at work) and then the next thing you know its time for bed!  Its a funny feeling to hear your husband get invited out by these people and not me.  I know most likely, being 8 months pregnant and all, I probably won't be going out on a Saturday night, but no one ever suggests any other plans that I can actually be involved in.  A few months ago when I did have a little gathering planned at my house I started the day in tears because everyone was close to 2 hours late (not even sure how that happens)!

Then there is my "best friend" who really only seems to have time for my when it suits her, especially when there is a big event to be showcased at.  I even had plans with her tomorrow to hang out with Emma (her goddaughter) and I and a girl we cheered with in high school and her kids.  I tried to get in touch with her today about our plans and to no avail!  Like, really?!?!

Boo Hoo to me haha!  I know I should just get over it and stop being a pregnant hormonal mess, but sometimes you just can't help it but to feel left out.  I can't help but to question myself and what I may have done or not done.  It just sucks!

Sorry for my rant...I am just not myself lately, or maybe I am just at a cross in the road of my life.  My friends seem to be traveling a completely different path then mine right now and I am having trouble finding my own myself!

...Happy Monday everyone!


  1. It's hard to feel disconnected from friends. When you're at different stages in life, it's hard to be on the same page. The dig is even harder when all your other friends (or in your case, husband) are invited and you're not. I've definitely had that a few times and it's hard not to feel the sting. I really love this post and think its one of your best.

  2. i think i remember this post... things are always so different after kids, but i always believe its for the better!

  3. First off sorry for missing so many of these! Geez, I don't know where the heck I have been LOL. But seriously, I felt like I could have written this post myself. I have always been the first to do everything with all of my friends, marriage, babies, second baby, etc. And I also moved about an hour away from everyone I knew. So I remember feeling just like this many times, and honestly sometimes it still happens. We really are on different paths then others and if the friendship is a real one, then we will figure out how to grow together, and with some in time we will grow close to them later when they reach a more similar place in life. That is what has happened with me, and sadly a few friends just fell away and I don't think we will ever be able to be close again. This is a hard road to travel but it really can make us better friends and stronger if we learn from it like you did. Great post!


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